I’ve been taking the steps two at a time since as long as I can remember. In all my work places I’ve been known for being fast and efficient. This world everything seems to be getting faster and faster. After multiple burnouts, and birthing two children, I can’t do it anymore. It’s taken me a long time to just sit still. Be quiet.
The worst part is I’ve had the opportunity to train my brain to be like this. I lived in rural Ireland for four years where the passage of time is so slow it would numb you. Somehow I still managed to maintain a stressed out, rushing about vibe. I tried to continue doing this, but now with my second baby here, it’s just not manageable. All it has done is created a stressed out mom that snaps easily and struggles to regulate herself, because of all the stress I am causing myself by rushing around. I don’t want to be that mom for my kids, and I don’t want to be that person for myself. So, I’ve decided to steward the slow and embrace it. I don’t get nearly as much accomplished as I used to in the timeframe that I want, but I’m happier, and my kids are better for it. It’s been a consistent training of my brain to stop yapping at me that certain projects lie unfinished or will be gotten to later. Sometimes the best method is to write these ideas and sketch out the projects that I want so that when the time comes and it does eventually, I’m hitting the ground running instead of searching for an idea.
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